60 Funny Valentine's Day Quotes That Will Fill Your Day With Laughter and Love
"I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!" 😂
There are two types of people in this world: the hopeless romantics who love to celebrate Valentine's Day and then those who would rather partake in a Galentine's Day celebration instead. 😂 (Shout out if you're the honorary third person who loves both!) Listen, you don't have to like Valentine's Day, but you sure will find this list of funny Valentine's Day quotes hilarious!
Whether you're looking for a silly Valentine's Day pun to text to friends or are in need of a winning Valentine's Day Instagram caption, we've got you covered. Lines from romantic movies are always a fun option, especially when the movie in question is Sixteen Candles ("That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else"). And quotes from TV shows are just as fabulous, like this unforgettable line from Dwight Schrute of The Office: "I just want to be friends. Plus a little extra. Also, I love you." Come on—how cute would that be plastered on the outside of a DIY Valentine's Day card?
Take a look at our favorites, and prepare to make your favorite person's day that much funnier. (And if you are, in fact, in the mood for something a little more heartfelt, check out these classic Valentine's Day quotes, too!)
H. L. Mencken
“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.”
Jim Gaffigan
“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.”
Erich Segal
“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
Sophie Monroe
“The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.”
Faye Morgan
“The thing about Valentine's Day is that people discover who are single and who to feel jealous of.”
King Jaffe Joffer, ‘Coming to America’
“So you see, my son, there is a very fine line between love and nausea.”
Charles Dickens
“Never sign a Valentine with your own name.”
Mike Birbiglia
“I love Valentine’s Day. When you’re a kid, everyone gets a valentine. It’s like, ‘To Tim, nice pants. Love, Scott.’ It’s valentines galore!”
Blaise Pascal
“The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.”
Adam Rippon
“Nobody loves me as much as I love me, so I guess I’ll just be my own valentine.”
Melanie Clark Pullen
“Love is just a chocolate substitute.”
Trevor Noah
“I understand Valentine’s Day, as a concept. The naked baby shoots you with an arrow, and you fall in love.”
Melanie White
“Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.”
David Sedaris
“You know how people say, 'You can’t live without love'? Well, oxygen is even more important.”
Milton Berle
“All my wife wanted for Valentine’s Day was a little card—American Express.”
Phyllis Diller
"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age—as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
Jarod Kintz
"You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale."
George Burns
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there."
Pearl Bailey
"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork."
Fernando Pessoa
"Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates."
Josiah Soto is the assistant editor of news and social for The Pioneer Woman. He helps manage the website’s social channels, in addition to writing high-performing news and entertainment content daily.
Watch Next
Share These 'Thank You' Messages for Teachers
These Summer Quotes Will Bring On the Sunshine
100 Cute Nicknames for Your Girlfriend or Wife
These Teacher Quotes Prove That They Are So Valued
