What's the Difference Between a Life Partner and a Spouse?

It's no secret that committed long-term relationships come in many forms: For some couples, that means solidifying their union through marriage; for others, a piece of paper legally tying them together just feels unnecessary. So, even if you and your partner are entirely sure that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, it's perfectly normal to question what your next step should be. Do you need to make your partnership official in the eyes of the law by becoming spouses or does committing to being life partners feel like enough for the two of you? If you're on the fence, we're here to help.

To help you determine the right path forward, we talked to Pantea Fozouni, owner of Palm Desert Law Group, a law firm that focuses on estate planning for families and small businesses, about the differences between life partners and spouses. She explains exactly what each is, took us through the positives and negatives associated with both, and provides information about how to become a spouse or life partner.

With this guide, you will be one step closer to making the best decision for you and your significant other.

What Is a Life Partner?

A life partner is someone you plan to share a life a with; you may live together, have children, and share finances, or you may not. “There is no single or set definition of life partner,” says Fozouni. “Rather, it typically refers to an individual who lives with someone else in a romantic relationship, either heterosexual or homosexual, as if they are spouses but without being legally married.” 

Those outside the relationship might mistake life partners for spouses—they are in a serious, committed relationship and have chosen to merge their lives together—but they didn’t take the extra step to get legally married. “A life partner is typically more than just a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend,' demonstrating a long-term relationship with the intent of permanence, but without the formal recognition of marriage,” adds Fozouni. “Life partners may or may not choose to have children together.” 

What Is a Spouse?

Spouses are a little easier to define. “A spouse is an individual who is legally married to another individual,” says Fozouni. Each state has different requirements for couples wanting to get married. In most of them, both people have to prove they are unmarried, have the legal mental capacity to marry and consent to be married and be a certain age. “Beyond those basic legal requirements, not much else is really required,” Fozouni explains. “The individuals can be heterosexual or homosexual. They can choose to live together or apart. They can merge their finances or keep them separate. Their relationship can be romantic or platonic in nature. They can choose to have children or not together.” 

Similarities Between Life Partners and Spouses

"Both types of relationships typically involve the parties being in a romantic relationship, though that is not a legal requirement,” says Fozouni. “In both types of relationships, the parties may choose to live together, merge their finances, and generally hold themselves out as long-term partners.”

Differences Between Life Partners and Spouses

The differences between life partners and spouses are mostly legal, says Fozouni, generally comes down to what they're entitled to in the eyes of the law. “Spouses have a lot more legal rights and decision-making authority than life partners do,” she explains. For example, if someone passes away spouses have automatic inheritance rights, whereas life partners do not (you can take care of that problem by naming your partner in a will or trust). Spouses have the ability to make healthcare decisions for their partner. The couple can also file their state and federal income taxes together, which has its financial advantages. 

Not tying the knot also has its advantages, especially when it comes to parting ways. “Life partners can easily go their separate ways after a breakup without much fuss,” says Fozouni. “Since they were not legally married, there is no requirement for them to file their breakup anywhere. There is also no right to any of the other partners’ assets, regardless of whether the assets were obtained during the course of their relationship.” There are also no rights to alimony. 

FAQs

How do you become life partners and spouses?

“Becoming a life partner is as simple as holding yourself out to your friends, family, and world as such,” explains Fozouni. The decision is made between you and your partner, and there are no legal requirements to give yourself that title or category. “Becoming a spouse is a bit more work, but not by much as long as you meet the requirements," Fozouni adds. “You and your partner can apply to your local county clerk’s office for a marriage license and then you must go through either a religious or secular wedding ceremony within the time allotted.” 

How do you end a life partnership or stop being spouses?

“Life partners can easily go their separate ways after a breakup without much fuss,” says Fozouni. You will need to deal with your personal issues like splitting up property or telling members of your family or friends, but there are no legal requirements to breaking up as life partners. “It is more difficult for spouses to break up as they will have to file a formal dissolution of marriage, which typically involves a lot of paperwork, including documentation about how much each of you earns, what you own, and what debts each of you has,” she adds. “It becomes even more complicated if you own real property together, have a large estate, have disparate incomes between the spouses, or have children together.”

How does a life partnership differ from a domestic partnership?

Many states in the United States offer another option for couples, which is to become domestic partners. It varies state by state, but in most instances, these couples have similar rights, protections, and benefits as spouses. “They are also subject to the same responsibilities, obligations, and duties under the law as are granted to and imposed by spouses," says Fozouni.

Can LGBTQA+ couples be life partners and spouses?

Absolutely. Heterosexual couples and homosexual couples can be both life partners and spouses in the United States. Both get the same rights and protections as any other couple.